Back

It’s been a while. I shut this blog down temporarily for a number of reasons, but I think I’ve returned for good. Lots of really crazy things have happened. Mainly, I quit my job. I got a new job. That is all I will say about either of those two things, because I purposely never talk about work here. If you want the details, shoot me an email.

I still haven’t written much about our trip to Wyoming. Much of what we saw and experienced there defies any kind of of verbal description. Including the 70 pound beaver that we saw after hiking to the spot below:

My hero

Before we embarked on this trip, I spent some time researching the wildlife. I learned that basically any animal here can easily kill you, so it’s best to keep your distance, especially from bison. Unless you are interested in the business end of a horn that will gore you to death, you shouldn’t come within more than 100 yards of them.

Yesterday, we came across a bison walking along the side of the road, about two feet from our car. He ambled along, clearly confident in the fact that at any moment, he could end us. He didn’t quite read the “don’t come within 100 yards of humans” memo,

God love my husband, because his first instinct was to lock the car doors.

“Honey,” I said, “I don’t think the bison is going to carjack us.”

“You don’t know what kind of upbringing he had,” he replied.

Salt Lake City smells like crap

I am sadly not writing this from our completely paid for $500 a night, four-diamond hotel room surrounded by moose and bear set among the scenic Grand Teton Mountains.

We are instead stuck in Salt Lake City in an airport Hilton because our flight was cancelled due to “weather.” “Weather” is really just a code for “we’ll strand you and then not pay for your hotel room, but first make you wait for hours in the airport where your only real dining option is Sbarro and then there will be no bar in the hotel, whoo!”

We did have the pleasure of sitting in the Salt Lake City airport for several hours and in addition to being a total dump, it smelled like raw sewage. The outside of this town also smells like raw sewage. I am not sure if this stench is an anomaly or a physical manifestation of my current opinion of this place at the moment.

I know that flying small planes into thunderstorms near gigantic mountains is probably not the best idea, but I really just wanted to get to where we were going. For once. Seriously, does a plane containing me ever land in this country on time anymore? And yes, I will whine about it even though it does no good, because this is my blog. And also, I can’t keep kicking things because I already hurt one toe, and I am sure the Salt Lake City hospital is the smelliest of all smelly places in this town.

Cross your fingers that we get out of here as planned tomorrow, internets. I am not spending my fifth anniversary here.

In threes

Earlier in the week, I had a moment where I thought my head might explode from the combined insanity of concurrently getting ready to travel into an entirely different time zone for a week where we may or may not have cell phone reception…trying to get our refinancing straight amidst lenders and brokers who were less than helpful and waited until the 11th hour to give us critical information…and attempting to get everything ready for the huge remodeling project that will occur while we are gone.

Then I realized that four years ago, I would have been on cloud nine if the three things driving me crazy were a huge vacation, a brand new bathroom, and a mortgage. Life’s not so bad.

Let’s just hope neither of us gets eaten by a bear or trampled by bison.