Short version: The weather forced cancellation of all flights to Richmond. And only Richmond. The LaGuardia Departures board was a vast sea of connections being made and planes taking off…except for ours. My husband, who has a Very Important Job had to be back in the RIC for Monday morning. We had to rent a car and drive home.
I wanted to wait a few days before enlightening the internets with the rest of the story of our trip home from New York this past weekend. I needed some distance from the situation to remind me that the world, unlike this blog, does not revolve around me. And that since I do not actually know anything about aviation, even though I used to watch Wings with great regularity, perhaps there really was no chance a plane could land in Richmond on Sunday. I hate being confronted with the concept that perhaps I do not in fact know everything.
Yeah, right.
I do have some important tips if you find yourselves in a similar scenario, so read on.
Here’s what I learned:
1. Know who owns your ticket. It’s not you. If you book a package trip on Expedia, even if it’s just a quick dash for the weekend, they can really save you money. However, they sometimes will book the initial and return trips on separate airlines. There’s this mythical thing associated with this splitting called “ticket ownership.” For example, if you fly out on US Air, and are scheduled to return via Delta, US Air likely has ownership of your ticket. This means that if Delta cancels your flight, you have to call US Air for a refund. Makes sense, because when my Honda needs parts, I always think, “Gee, I best call Toyota.” You won’t find this out until you’ve been on hold with Delta for an hour. Then, when you call US Air, they will tell you that since Delta attempted to rebook you, everything got screwy, and it will appear that no one owns the ticket until one airline clears it out of their system. Then, you can call Delta again and get put on hold for another half – hour, finally get through to someone in the refund department, and get disconnected just as your refund goes through.
2. Program the airline reservation number into your phone before you leave home. Even though you are in an actual airport and can see planes, and employees and computers with listings of other flights, you have to call the airline’s automated reservation #. Even if yours is the only flight cancelled, you’ll have to wait forever. If you are offered a later flight home, don’t take it unless you are certain it’s actually going to take off. Once that rebooking happens, even if it’s at another airport across town and will most likely also be cancelled, no one wants to offer you a refund. You can get one, but it will take some manuevering and extreme politeness.
3. Ask yourself: “What would I do if this was the Amazing Race?” The answer is: formulate a workable backup plan and then trust your gut. If we hadn’t made a quick decision to reserve a rental car while spending endless amounts of time to reclaim our luggage for the race to other airport, we would have been screwed. In the end, if we had waited for the rebooked flight, we would not have gotten home and my husband might have been sued. By me. For not listening to me and getting the rental car. Also by clients. But mostly me.
4. If you can join a rental car preferred member club, do it. Mentioning it took us from “we really have nothing for you, sorry, suckers” to “come get your car in 30 minutes.”
5. Split up the work. If you are traveling with a partner, it does not help to freak out or yell at each other, even if you have not eaten and also got caught in a torrential downpour in Bryant Park earlier in the day so that you are both sort of dampish and moldy. (But oh my god, Tom Coliccho, your sandwiches…) Assess what needs to be done, and split it up. It is much easier to do this if both of you remember to bring your cell phones. Ahem. Also, pack your charger.
6. You can get a refund. The airlines will make it as unpleasant as possible for you, and will transfer you back and forth and tell you they can’t give you one, and put you on hold for the rest of the 21st century, but you can get your money back. You will have to exercise immense patience and will not talk to an actual person until hours into your wait on hold. Strangely, shouting and cursing at the phone and banging it on the console of the rental car repeatedly does not help you talk to someone faster. Neither does calling the automated female voice who does not understand your voice command of “Give me my freaking money back now” a dirty W*$%#. Do not quit. And be polite, not rude. The nice airline lady (Hi, Bonnie!) who finally got our refund to go through actually told me that she helped me faster because I said the following things to her: “Please, can you give me some assistance,” “I realize that none of this is your fault, but I am very frustrated with the process as I have been on hold for an hour and then disconnected,” and “Thank you so much.”
7. If you have a Very Important Job, don’t go out of town the day before a Very Important Thing.And remember to bring your cell phone with you.
The good stuff from the trip: Saw Old 97s concert on a boat. Spent way too much time eating our way through Chelsea Market. Bought too many pairs of shoes. Found an outdoor dog-friendly bar on the water that serves $5 Paulaner hefewiezens. Again, we found $5 non-domestic beers in New York. Almost stole a wheaten terrier tied to a stop sign who was waiting for his owner to come out of Starbucks. Only prevented from stealing it because my husband grabbed my hand and dragged me away.
