A letter to Santa

19 12 2005

Dear Santa,

Please let the Redskins win their next two games.

Please put some beano in my dog’s stocking.

World peace would be nice, but really, who are we kidding? You can’t do that by yourself, or you would have already,so just go with the Skins. Seeing the joy on my husband’s face will be present enough.

Of course, if you do that, please put some money in my stocking for playoff tickets.

And seriously, don’t forget the beano. I know those reindeer have a mostly fiber diet, so I think you catch my drift.





Hey Santa, Christmas puppies are a bad plan!

17 12 2005

If you or someone you love has asked for a four-legged present this year for Christmas, think twice. Before you decide, read this. If you really want a pooch, wait until January or February, when rescue organizations will be overloaded.

And as it is the season of giving, make a donation to a group that helps save or rehome animals, such as your local SPCA or other rescue group. If you are stumped for who to give your pennies to, go here and light a candle.

And to the person at the mall who yesterday told me it was very weird that we get our dog Christmas presents – kiss my ass. I’m telling Santa on you.





All I want for Christmas is a secret plan to fight inflation…

15 12 2005

Or the elimination of the penny.





And the law school gives us unlimited free booze before football games

3 12 2005

Crap.

I know my brain is made of mush, but I don’t seem to recall the “tired”excuse clause in any of my class syllabi at UR.

No matter how hung-over, tired, or stressed out I may have been, I had to turn my work in on time or suffer the consequences.

If I wrote a shitty paper because I was “tired”, I got a shitty grade. That was what I deserved. I couldn’t go up to my professor a few days later and explain that I was tired. No way in hell could I say, “Hey, professor, you clearly did not understand what I meant in my paper; where’s my higher grade?” I had to deal with the results of my choices during college and paid a lot of tuition for that privilege.

There is no chance of any “bright minds” developing at Richmond when the purported leader of the school sets a standard of making excuses for his questionable decisions and subsequently fails to accept the ramifications of his dumb-ass comments.

Apologies aren’t enough for me. I want some elitist heads to roll, and maybe then, my disgust will abate.

This Spider household will only be supporting the law school for as long as Dr. Cooper is around. It’s a shame too, because even though we have unmoldable minds made of mush, we make the big bucks.