Internets, I seek your help. More specifically, my right foot needs your assistance.
I may have mentioned once or twice before that I have rather large feet. I had an epiphany a while back when I realized I had been wearing the wrong size for many years, partly out of vanity, but mostly out of habit. You’d think the constantly sore feet might have clued me in to it. I think I always suspected this but pushed this knowledge deep down inside in places you don’t talk about at parties, because I didn’t want to enter the “special order zone.”
Once I went up a half-size in most shoes (thus officially entering the world of they will NEVER carry your size unless the price is three digits), the pain in anything not tightly fitted (like sneakers) lessened, unless I wore very high heels. Which I do. But only on days when I have to look official. Or like I am teetering and about to fall over. (Normally I wear flats, or flip-flops, or nothing at all. But sometimes, a pair of four inch, pony-hair, leopard print, peep toe heels magicaly wind up in your closet, shoes so beautiful that the pain is worth it.)
BUT - brace yourselves, internets. I’m about to tell you about horrifying. THE ALIEN BONE. I have TWO. I have this thing on both feet I’ve termed “the reverse bunion.” As far as I can tell thanks to google images, it’s my fifth metatarsal bone, and it sticks so far out that it makes the back of my foot an entire width smaller than the rest of it. Everyone’s sticks out a little. I know this. However, I made my husband feel mine the other day and he actually said “AHHHH!” and recoiled in horror. I’ve been going around for days, staring at people’s feet, and I’ve seen nothing like my own.
I went to get professionally fitted for sneakers the other day. Sneakers have always hurt me the worst of any shoe, something no one ever believes. Running, hiking, walking - within ten minutes, I usually want to rip my shoes off and go barefoot. Sadly, I’m not an Olympic marathoner from Kenya, so not an option for me.
Twenty nine years of sore feet and one actual hysterical crying fit in the middle of Grand Teton Nation Park later, finally, I found a semi-answer. The fitter finally explained that this was source of all my foot pain while wearing anything tightly fitted. She also said, “wow, this will be challenging, and I don’t know if we can help you.” If you fit the front of my foot to accommodate my alien bone, the back is way too big and the shoe flies off. So you have to fit the back, which is what I’ve always done meaning 2/3 of my foot is in a shoe a full width too small.
I went to another store, a running store, and it was the same thing. I did find a pair of sneaks that are an improvement in that they hurt less than any other pair I’ve worn.
But still, after the gym, I’m limping to the car in pain. Now that I’ve realized that this is not normal, that there might be a solution, I refuse to accept this.
Are any of you podiatrists? Is that the answer? Better yet, are any of you podiatrists who look like TV’s Dr. Doug Ross? Does anyone have a solution other than the one proffered by the hubs - “maybe your caveman great-grandfather had some extra bone in his foot or something?”
Because I did have a caveman great-grandfather (sort of), but that’s a whole other story.